Glorious

My name was Hughyn and I was so tired of being the only Asian at the gym.  I was 29 but I look like I was 17.  The guys I worked out with were all nice but I was always the butt of their jokes.  One day, I was walking home from the gym and I ran into a little, old woman who had just come out of the woods.  She looked confused so I walked over to her.

"Ma'am, can I help you?"

"Oh, you seem so kind.  Yet so troubled.  What seems to be the matter?"

For a woman who had just come out of the forest, she seemed rather lucid.  I figured I would tell her about my workout woes and how I felt like life had dealt me a poor card.  I loved my Asian heritage and a lot of Asians get fit and buff pretty easily.  But for me I only stayed thin and small.

"Go into the woods and you will find your answer.  Take this backpack and follow this map."  I looked at the map and when I went to look back at her she was gone.  I decided why not and followed the map up to this cliff.  The climb had been hard and I was so sore from working out earlier.

My tank top was starting to get tight and my shorts were too.  I looked at the beautiful view and was amazed that I could make it to the top of the mountain.  I picked up the backpack still looking at the amazing view and started my tread down the mountain.

When I got to the bottom, I realized I had made it to the bus stop I sometimes took home.  It was on a small wooden bench that was actually a historical landmark. I sat down with the backpack on and the bus pulled up.  Then, the strangest thing happened.  The reflection of the person on the side of the bus was not me.  Some ridiculously buff guy with hairy shoulders.  

I stood up.  And the guy stood up.  I flexed and he flexed his ridiculously huge arms.  I opened the backpack after I got on the bus and found a note.

"Welcome to your new life.  May it be as glorious as your soul."

It must be from that woman, I thought.  I noticed a new driver's license, a mirror and a cell phone were all in the bag.  My new name was Mark Thomason.  I looked at my new Caucasian bearded face in the mirror and gave a cocky smirk.

"Holy shit," I said in a gravely voice.  A second later, my cell phone rang.  It was one of my gym buddies.  He asked if I made it through my hike after my crazy dead lifts that I was doing.  I told him yeah it was glorious.